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Annoying Facebook Friends? Give ’em the FaceBOOT!

boot_laptop2How do you feel about Facebook members on a mission to amass the max number of ‘friends’ in record time… for no apparent reason? Certain Facebook peeps have been getting right up my nose with this approach lately.

I mean, if your name is John Reese, fair enough! John has a record of getting to the 5000 limit in the shortest time… but these were all people on his optin subscriber list and/or that he personally knows. Go John! Btw, have you heard the 5000 limit may get lifted?!

I’ve been known to remove friends – even block a couple folks who really stepped out of line with me. But, it wasn’t until I read gal pal Liz Lynch’s recent post Breaking Up with the Lazy Networker that I had a “duh!” moment.

Here I was griping to my hubby tonight for the umpteenth time about a few dudes whose friending strategy really doesn’t align with mine. And, Ty, in his infinite wisdom says to me, “Why don’t you just unfriend them?” Um, hello? Clever hubby… and he’s totally not into Facebook. I can’t get him to budge into the social media world. hehe

If you’ve heard me speak lately, one of the pieces of advice I frequently give is everyone needs to have their own friending policy on Facebook. I used to be more rigorous about checking out the profiles of each incoming friend request. Now, to better manage my time, my policy is to go ahead and accept around 90%… and then remove those who aren’t quite a fit for my style.

My criteria for removal may include:

  • duplicate accounts (against Facebook’s Terms of Use),
  • a profile that takes forever to load due to all the graphic-rich apps (this could change with the launch of Facebook’s new profile design),
  • spammy content on their profile and/or posting spammy content elsewhere,
  • sending me solicitous multiple-recipient emails when I have scant relationship with the person (yet) nor any of their other recipients,
  • focusing on quantity vs. quality (e.g. thinking it’s a competition to get the highest number of friends no matter who they are, as opposed to focusing on deliberately friending hand-picked people who align with your values and match your target market and reaching out to build rapport and nurture a win:win relationship with them).

By the way, I totally acknowledge that this post could upset a few peeps. So be it. There’s no point in trying to please all the people all the time. The more clarity you have about yourself, your message, your branding and your target market, the more you can be lovingly ruthless with your standards!

To delete a Facebook friend: go to their profile, scroll to the bottom and click on Remove from Friends.

How about you? Do you have a friending policy? And what action do you take when you find one of your Facebook friends isn’t someone you want to include in your community afterall?

Mari Smith

Often referred to as “the Queen of Facebook,” Mari Smith is widely known as the Premier Facebook Marketing Expert and a top Social Media Thought Leader. Forbes describes Mari as, “… the preeminent Facebook expert. Even Facebook asks for her help.” IBM named Mari as one of seven women that are shaping digital marketing. Mari is an in-demand keynote speaker, corporate social media strategist, dynamic live webcast host, and popular brand ambassador. She is coauthor of Facebook Marketing: An Hour A Day, and author of The New Relationship Marketing.

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  1. Brenda on February 20, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    I tend to be very picky and I’ve had no problems so far. I would not hesitate to boot out someone who misbehaves. I’ve found that people in my age group seemed to be well mannered. I treat FB and other SMM sites as my home and you behave in my home. You can have fun, but you must behave. A friendship policy is a must.

    Brenda’s last blog post.. 5 Super Reasons To Put Your Face On Facebook

  2. Michael on February 9, 2009 at 7:25 am

    I am a political independent, and either way I was not going to be happy with the election. I made a joke of moving to Canada (which would have been made either way, my ‘friends’ were aware of my political indie stance and agreed to that, so it seemed, when they joined me on facebook.) As soon as I did they assumed I was with a certain party and I received vicious attacks on my wall. Needless to say I dropped them all (these same people posted horrible comments about numerous political agendas but were offended at a joke?) I had never made any controversial remarks and this was an obvious sign they were simply added as ‘contacts’ and not friends.

    I use facebook for personal uses and have learned that many people who friend you need to be checked to see if they post horrible remarks to other people. This is a sure sign they will attack you if you do not share their mindset, however radical.

  3. Donna Fox on May 28, 2008 at 11:45 pm

    Facebook spam is definitely bad form. It’s the same thing that made MySpace unbearable, and less recently, Ryze. It’s no wonder MLMs and internet marketers get a bad name. For many, there’s no genuine “social” in their media.

  4. Mari Smith on May 26, 2008 at 5:47 am

    @Melanie hey there! thx for your great feedback – that is too fun you’re reading my blog for homework from The Blog Squad. Denise & Patsi totally rock – I love their Blogging & Beyond Mentorship Program. I went to take a peek at your blog, but it doesn’t appear to be up… yet?

    @Anthony – I’m glad to hear you’re not a numbers-based competitive type either!! 🙂

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