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February 14th, 2010
Valentine’s Day: What Does It Mean To You?

iStock_000010455602XSmall Here’s hoping you had an extraordinary Valentine’s Day! I just flew back home to San Diego after speaking in Nashville at the National Speakers Association Winter Conference. (Definitely a way fun event; made awesome new connections and we even enjoyed a local tweetup last night!) Oh, and props to SouthWest Airlines for all the LUV!

Valentine’s Day surely means different things to different people. In many cultures, it’s a day to express romance to a significant other. In other cultures, it’s more a day to acknowledge friendships of all kinds.

When I was growing up in BC, Canada, I found it odd that all the kids at school would bring in playful little cards for every student in class, along with candies, etc.

Yet, in Scotland, where I later lived for 20 years, Valentine’s Day was more about romance.

Here in the U.S., I think Valentine’s is about romance, friendship, and everything in-between! :)

As a sidebar, I’d love to know how many Facebook users who have their relationship status set to “It’s Complicated” are in the U.S. – per capita – compared to other countries! LOL. I just tried to find out using the Ads wizard, but it seems advertisers can only target Single, In a Relationship, Engaged or Married. even though there are three other categories of relationship status. heh!

I also see some folks refer to “VDay” as “Singles Awareness Day.”(I imagine someone made this term up sort of in jest, which I find rather sad; if you’re single today, it’s a time to rejoice and celebrate YOU! And to express your love for and to ALL your loved ones!)

SONY DSCValentine’s Day back in 1999 has much significance to me; I had only lived in California just a few weeks after arriving from my previous home in Scotland. flat broke, and knowing just one person. ;)

I was laser focused on finding a way to earn a living and remain in San Diego. One of my hobbies for many years in my 20’s was decorating cakes. (My dad was a baker and I went to night school for three years to study confectionary!) I had submitted my portfolio to a local bakery just in case I could find temporary work to get me started, and had been praying for a sign that I was supposed to stay in the U.S.

Sure enough, within a matter of hours, the phone rang: it was the local bakery needing help with their Valentine’s Day big rush on cakes and cookies! (The rest, as they say, is history! Hehee.)

By the way, maybe you can relate: I’ve had the great fortune to enjoy a very wide and varied career since I left school and started working at the young age of 15! (I’ll save my journey to becoming a recognized social media evangelist for a different post!)

Another significant Valentine’s event: I got married on February 14, 2001.

However, after 8 years, I made a conscious decision to transition back to singlehood (LOL, sounds more playful than “divorce.”) You’re welcome to read about my personal journey (and how it relates to social media), if you haven’t already on my blog.

So, this is actually my first Valentine’s Day as a “single” person since 1999. And, I just have to share that I’ve never felt more liberated.

iStock_000001850571XSmallI am blessed to have a wonderful spiritual mentor, Esperanza; her work has made a profound difference in my life over the past year.

One of my favorite quotes from Esperanza is:

“The most important relationship you have in the world is the one you have with yourself; everything and everyone is a direct reflection of the quality of that relationship.”

This is so true.

Just this past week, I had a wonderful phone conversation with a friend I’ve known for years. She asked me a very poignant question about what exactly it was that I did to catapult my success and visibility to the “stratosphere” in the past 12 months or so. :)

She wanted to know the name of my PR Agency, or Speakers Bureau. or??

I began to chuckle.

I told my friend my answer would surprise her. I shared that, in fact, I hadn’t hired any third party publicity support and that all business comes to me via the “Law of Attraction,” if you will.

See, my big boost in success can be directly attributed to my choice to pursue a more spiritual path last year.

I chose to stop playing small, stop the self-doubt and fears. I made myself step further into my power and light. To own my gifts and be willing to share even more.

Light I’ve always resonated deeply with Marianne Williamson’s words, but I finally chose to embody: “our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” “.as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

My friend was astounded by my reply. She was looking for something formulaic; something she could simply plug into and achieve similar results.

Well, the good news is she can. And so can you.

At my speaking engagement this past weekend, I shared the same story right up front with the audience. And I told them I’ve never felt more on purpose during the past three years of my career.

I was deeply touched by the overwhelmingly positive feedback from the audience members on my presentation… and by the number of people who shared how inspired they were by my inclusion of spiritual principles.

See, so many times, we get afraid to talk about spirituality (and/or religion) in the “workplace.” We tend to think that’s part of everyone’s “private” life.

Yet it’s not private at all. (Well, your own beliefs can certainly be held privately!)

iStock_000010133847XSmall We are all, in some way shape or form, regardless of anyone’s belief systems, impacted by energy, spirit, consciousness, God. whatever you want to call it.

SO, my wish for you this Valentine’s Day and beyond is that you, too, stop listening to those doubts and fears. Those voices in your head (that quite often are not even your own!) that hold you back.

And, instead, begin listening to that still small voice that knows who you ARE at the core. Listen to the part of you that absolutely knows without a shadow of a doubt why you came to this planet. And dare to go out and take big, bold action steps.

This, in fact, is also the message from Seth Godin’s latest book, Linchpin – Are You Indispensable?. I had the great fortune to meet Seth at an incredible event last week and I managed to “livetweet” the bulk of his deeply inspiring one hour keynote. (See tweets here).

I’d love to hear your own thoughts on the pursuit of success and how it relates to your own spiritual path. And your thoughts and feelings about the biggest day of romance and love of the year – what does it bring up for you? Do share your thoughts in the comments below:

Big hugs,
Mari

P.S. Another quote from Esperanza – if you happen to be single (or your S.O. is away) right now: “You can never be alone because you will always have YOU.”

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  • I like Valentine's Day, but it's complicated :)
  • I agree with your post and the comments its all about you, even in a relationship. You make a better friend too with a little self-love, zero self-loath. I am environmentalist you can go even further with that love.

    I think this post ties nicely into your idea (which I love) of relationship marketing. We do not live in an era of mass marketing, its more Peppers and Rogers or one to one. I think this time social media makes it even more about social savy.
  • Great post on Valentine's Day! You are brave to share so much personal info on your blog about your success and especially your private life. I am still around on twitter, building a following of other news and political junkies, as well as other moms/dads. I'm thinking of starting a new twitter account just for interacting on parenting/mommy stuff...since so much of my littlebytesnews account has grown into a news/info sharing page. I still interact with my followers,RT and refollow others, but I want to focus more on moms&parents for personal growth. Anyway,thought I'd stop by and say hi Mari! Glad to hear life is treating you well. Stay happy&keep smiling!
  • Valentine's Day to me is all about LOVE. In the past, I have hosted potlucks for all friends (especially the single ones).
    I usually make a hokey handmade thing for my husband, Vj. I love doing it and he appreciates is a great deal. The cornier the better!
    This year, I wrote some short poems on the plane home from my mastermind group (thanks, Fabienne Fredrickson!)in FLA. On the morning of V-Day, I made a little book out of index cards and embroidery thread and wrote the poems inside. You can see a picture of it here: http://artofrelationship.net/valentines-season/
    We like to make something for each other and/or buy a gift but it isn't necessary. We are all about giving when we are moved to. Obligation makes it a drag so we avoid that.
  • Dana
    Mari absolutely love your blog, it is exactly where my head is at, but more importantly, you enormous soul you, it's where my soul is! Mari have you taken in "The Way of the Peaceful Warrior," would seem so, since you be just there...you are so wonderful, love to you and the folks who follow your wonderful leadership.
  • Yes, Mari, you are so right! Business is *ready* to begin embracing what were previously seen as "spiritual" principals...quickly shifting to "life" principals. Many people have been applying these techniques in their private lives and wishing they could bring them to (their) work. Small business is really leading the way with this, and soon it will be much more mainstream. Now, more and more small business owners are looking for positive-minded business owners to connect with. It's wonderful to behold!

    I applaud you for honestly sharing what has, and continues to, help you!

    Many blessings,
    Nancy
  • Hi Mari, I love your post and the fact that you have so much to share with us. It is true that we are the only ones who can determine if we will either fail or succeed and you have proved that point within a short time. Thank you too, for sharing with us part of what yo have gone through in your life. Thanks.
  • The Universe is THE best PR support one could EVER have...and it's free. Right on, Miss Mari Smith. You are obviously "in the flow".

    You are a beautiful model of being authentic and I adore you!

    In abundance,
    Jeanna
  • Mari

    I sent you an email on this but thought I would post here too.

    Simply want to say that you are a blessing to me personally and many others I know.

    You are a testament to the success that can be achieved when one focuses on the success of other people in an authentic way. You are such an inspiration for us to continue to drive to our dreams, never give up on them and never let them go.

    It's amazing how many people God is putting together who have these amazing visions in their heads. Visions that are so much bigger than each one of us can ever accomplish as individuals. However, as a team, with collaboration we can and will make a difference on this planet.

    I am blessed to work with you, learn from you and call you friend! You are loved our little turquoise blue bird and you don't need a man, ring on your finger to know you are loved and needed in this world.

    My husband and I had an epiphany this weekend too. We decided to stop focusing on the bad, the negative. Instead we went back to why we were together... what made us fall in love to begin with. It's the same thing I try to focus on in my business every day... why am I here...why and what am I doing on this planet that will make a difference in the lives of others.

    I think we need to look at many facets of life in the same way. We can't get hung up on all the small stuff. Instead, focus on the big things, the dial-turners, the things that matter.

    Thanks Mari for being you! Happy V-Day a day late!

    To the moon & back...

    Pam
  • Hi Mari,

    Thank you for sharing this very personal and poignant post with us. How heartwarming to know that you now feel so liberated and on-purpose. Right on!

    In my work as a Professional Coach, my #1 role seems to be to help my clients find that “voice” you mention which knows who we are at the core. It’s when we pay attention to that voice that we become clear on why we are here and what to do about it. Exciting! And so in my own personal journey, I have discovered that for me, it’s all about following the things in life that make me come alive and bring me joy...and helping others tap into what brings them joy. So in that simple “knowing,” I launched my blog called “Following Your Joy”! I have never felt more on-purpose or alive. And my “PR Agency” (okay, I don’t have one either, so of course I’m referring to the Law of Attraction, too!) has led me to speaking engagements, perfect clients, and all kinds of other great opportunities. Isn’t it fun how the magic unfolds when you are following the call and listening to that voice?

    Valentine’s Day seems to be the perfect day to honor this because it all boils down to love. :)

    Many blessings to you for a fantastic 2010 and I look forward to staying in touch!

    Warmly,
    Michelle
  • I am truly touched by this message, Mari, and inspired by your example and your words. Your authenticity is palpable, and your willingness to share yourself must be empowering many, many people to pursue their highest potential. You are a gift to us all. Thank you.
  • Tom Heitz
    Mari:

    Thanks for delivering a great presentation in Nashville. I received more than I expected from your talk. You gave excellent information and helpful tips, but what blew me away and totally engaged me was your expression of soul. That sharing of your journey gave a whole new meaning to the value of social media and your connection to people. Happy Valentines Day and we hope to see you at the national conference in July.
  • Cindy Murphy
    Hi Mari,

    Thank you so much for this heartfelt and passionate post about Valentine's Day. Most importantly, thank you for sharing from the heart your own personal journey. I certainly related to your journey.

    With me in the beginning stages of starting a home based business, I love learning how others have gotten started. I applaud you in your success and love following you to learn more about your efforts and helpful tips. You are an inspiration.

    Have a wonderful day,

    Cindy
  • Hi Mari - I just love this post. It sums up all the reasons I just loving following your work and trust that you always come from the heart. It's so clear in everything you do and is so admirable.
    I chose to celebrate Valentine's Day by celebrating Chopin's 200th birthday (later this month) and performing a piano recital of his music. It was held at my music school - a 110 year old Victorian home - with a full house, yet an intimate audience. It may have been more love than I've ever felt in a room. Totally magnificent and I felt very blessed to share romantic music that I love so deeply with people celebrating love. Though I am single, today Chopin was my love, along with a room full of fans that I cherish and adore. I'm not sure it gets any better than that!
  • New to blogging and using Twitter. So much to respond to in your post, I could write for an hour! I sense protocol is to keep it brief. (I'll try...)

    I LOVE VALENTINE'S DAY!!
    -Valentine's Day is an opportunity to pass out heart stickers to strangers without explanation
    -Every step of sending physical cards (shopping, selecting, signing, addressing and getting physical cards in the mail in time) brings with it the opportunity to stop and focus on the loving relationships in my life
    -Resinating with you and other like individuals at NSA warms and fills my heart. Each meeting feels like Valentine's Day. Just a happy coincidence that the meeting was actually on Valentine's Day!
    -This holiday dedicated to romance forces my husband Steve and I to remember our relationship is more than a household or parenting partnership

    The best part of Valentine's Day is the fun of expressing unbridled exuberance to/with/for the people in my life.

    Much love to you all!!
  • Happy Valentines Day to you Mari!
    And congratulation for your amazing journey you are leading!
    Memory came back as I was reading about cake decoration talent you have.
    Do you remember you made the designed with red Heart for Carol Dysart's DISC for Money & You 9 years ago ? We printed on sweat shirts. I remember you quickly whipped up that design. Carol loved it. That was part of your small history.
    So great to see you showing us what is possible.
    Thank you Mari.
    Love,
    Kayoko
  • Amen, Mari. Quantum leaps don't come from linear time and space. You have to step outside of that, into Possibility and Potential! ;)

    Your Valentine's musings also resonated with my post this morning about how to find the ONE person who truly loves you: http://www.HealerToHealer.com

    Hope to meet you some day! Thanks for being so accessible in so many ways.
  • Hi Mari,

    Thanks for sharing your story. I love knowing a bit more about you and your success. I went through a spiritual transformation also in the last three years and it has shown me my purpose and woken my passion.

    Seeing your success as a model of what is possible when a woman is on purpose is so inspiring. Thanks for leading us into the land of All Things Are Possible!

    Love and Love,
    Catherine
  • Mari, I see this day as a reflection of the immense love that exists everywhere and through the power of this love we are filled to do our work,passion or whatever.
    So in essence this is spirituality - its doing what our spirit calls us to. Of course in 3D reality it might not take shape as quickly as that timeless spirit so dearly wants.
    I have learned to surrender to the process and enjoy the small steps in a gentle way. I allow myself time to replenish and renew as I toil I my "day job" and I all the intricacies to take baby steps on my dreams.
    I find sometimes I end up being compelled to do something creative out of the blue which boosts up my energy...and good energy is Love:)
  • Mari, I love how you choose to share your personal story. You manage to do so with such dignity and gusto. I appreciate how you carefully manage our view into your professional vs. personal vs. private life. You are an inspiration.

    Thank you for sharing your spiritual journey with us.

    Blessings to you!
    ~Kris
  • Great post! You might also like "Infinite Possibilities" by Mike Dooley. It is one of the best books I have read about our place in the Universe and the infinite possibilities available to each of us as we truly understand our spiritual origin and power.
  • Thank you Mari. I have had a similar journey to yours in a lot of ways. Sometimes I think our job is to simply gather up enough information and experiences so that when we are ready we can soar. This was my year to simply decide I am done letting life happen to me and to become intentional in all that I do. I've said I would before, I've felt inspired before and I've felt successful before. But it truly takes a shift deep down in your core to begin living on purpose and be all that you were meant to be, no matter what. Here's to our bright futures!
  • Thank you for this wonderful and heartfelt note, Mari. It was a joy to read. Happy Valentine's Day.

    Jeff
  • Wow Mari,
    In immense gratitude.

    I resonated so closely with what you are saying- I am a year behind you in stopping playing small or as Des said::" You like to be visible, noisy and make a difference, you don't like to be the mouse in the corner- but you have made an artf orm of it recently"- that stopped me in my tracks. It's the doubts and and the fears that stop us moving into who we truly are:)

    Thank you so much for sharing this, so timely. I have just reconnected with Brandon Bays and The Journey Work which is very soul based. I spent Valentines day- which in Australia is very commercial, with my soulmate who took me through a very special Abundance Journey from Brandon's New Book, Consciousness the New Currency. it was wonderful to remove some of the self sabotuers ( that i thought I had released) that have in the past stopped me as you have said so eloquently:from "stepping further into my power and light. To own my gifts and be willing to share even more."

    I met you Mari when I first set my BHAG back in 2008- there is another one coming........ it's time to follow one path........and put the Law of Atrraction into action with soul.

    Thank you, you have reminded us that there is no magic bulllets, just the magic that is everyone of us to shine- to be a lightbearer
    with love and hugs
    Suzie
  • Excellent post about how Valentine's Day can and should be about solidifying your life path and the hopes and dreams you can create, with or without a partner.

    I appreciate having one day per year to take time and reflect on the value of relationship though in reality, try to practice being thankful for my relationships every day. Valentine's Day for me is a great way for me to reflect back on the previous year with my spouse and say all the schlocky things that don't always flow so easily during 'real life moments.'

    With or without a partner, however, your blog is a great reminder to love yourself and make plans to be the best you that you can be and move confidently in the direction of your greatness.
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