Here’s hoping you had an extraordinary Valentine’s Day! I just flew back home to San Diego after speaking in Nashville at the National Speakers Association Winter Conference. (Definitely a way fun event; made awesome new connections and we even enjoyed a local tweetup last night!) Oh, and props to SouthWest Airlines for all the LUV!

Valentine’s Day surely means different things to different people. In many cultures, it’s a day to express romance to a significant other. In other cultures, it’s more a day to acknowledge friendships of all kinds.

When I was growing up in BC, Canada, I found it odd that all the kids at school would bring in playful little cards for every student in class, along with candies, etc.

Yet, in Scotland, where I later lived for 20 years, Valentine’s Day was more about romance.

Here in the U.S., I think Valentine’s is about romance, friendship, and everything in-between!

As a sidebar, I’d love to know how many Facebook users who have their relationship status set to “It’s Complicated” are in the U.S. – per capita – compared to other countries! LOL. I just tried to find out using the Ads wizard, but it seems advertisers can only target Single, In a Relationship, Engaged or Married. even though there are three other categories of relationship status. heh!

I also see some folks refer to “VDay” as “Singles Awareness Day.”(I imagine someone made this term up sort of in jest, which I find rather sad; if you’re single today, it’s a time to rejoice and celebrate YOU! And to express your love for and to ALL your loved ones!)

Valentine’s Day back in 1999 has much significance to me; I had only lived in California just a few weeks after arriving from my previous home in Scotland. flat broke, and knowing just one person.

I was laser focused on finding a way to earn a living and remain in San Diego. One of my hobbies for many years in my 20’s was decorating cakes. (My dad was a baker and I went to night school for three years to study confectionary!) I had submitted my portfolio to a local bakery just in case I could find temporary work to get me started, and had been praying for a sign that I was supposed to stay in the U.S.

Sure enough, within a matter of hours, the phone rang: it was the local bakery needing help with their Valentine’s Day big rush on cakes and cookies! (The rest, as they say, is history! Hehee.)

By the way, maybe you can relate: I’ve had the great fortune to enjoy a very wide and varied career since I left school and started working at the young age of 15! (I’ll save my journey to becoming a recognized social media evangelist for a different post!)

Another significant Valentine’s event: I got married on February 14, 2001.

However, after 8 years, I made a conscious decision to transition back to singlehood (LOL, sounds more playful than “divorce.”) You’re welcome to read about my personal journey (and how it relates to social media), if you haven’t already on my blog.

So, this is actually my first Valentine’s Day as a “single” person since 1999. And, I just have to share that I’ve never felt more liberated.

I am blessed to have a wonderful spiritual mentor, Esperanza; her work has made a profound difference in my life over the past year.

One of my favorite quotes from Esperanza is:

“The most important relationship you have in the world is the one you have with yourself; everything and everyone is a direct reflection of the quality of that relationship.”

This is so true.

Just this past week, I had a wonderful phone conversation with a friend I’ve known for years. She asked me a very poignant question about what exactly it was that I did to catapult my success and visibility to the “stratosphere” in the past 12 months or so.

She wanted to know the name of my PR Agency, or Speakers Bureau. or??

I began to chuckle.

I told my friend my answer would surprise her. I shared that, in fact, I hadn’t hired any third party publicity support and that all business comes to me via the “Law of Attraction,” if you will.

See, my big boost in success can be directly attributed to my choice to pursue a more spiritual path last year.

I chose to stop playing small, stop the self-doubt and fears. I made myself step further into my power and light. To own my gifts and be willing to share even more.

I’ve always resonated deeply with Marianne Williamson’s words, but I finally chose to embody: “our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” “.as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

My friend was astounded by my reply. She was looking for something formulaic; something she could simply plug into and achieve similar results.

Well, the good news is she can. And so can you.

At my speaking engagement this past weekend, I shared the same story right up front with the audience. And I told them I’ve never felt more on purpose during the past three years of my career.

I was deeply touched by the overwhelmingly positive feedback from the audience members on my presentation… and by the number of people who shared how inspired they were by my inclusion of spiritual principles.

See, so many times, we get afraid to talk about spirituality (and/or religion) in the “workplace.” We tend to think that’s part of everyone’s “private” life.

Yet it’s not private at all. (Well, your own beliefs can certainly be held privately!)

We are all, in some way shape or form, regardless of anyone’s belief systems, impacted by energy, spirit, consciousness, God. whatever you want to call it.

SO, my wish for you this Valentine’s Day and beyond is that you, too, stop listening to those doubts and fears. Those voices in your head (that quite often are not even your own!) that hold you back.

And, instead, begin listening to that still small voice that knows who you ARE at the core. Listen to the part of you that absolutely knows without a shadow of a doubt why you came to this planet. And dare to go out and take big, bold action steps.

This, in fact, is also the message from Seth Godin’s latest book, Linchpin – Are You Indispensable?. I had the great fortune to meet Seth at an incredible event last week and I managed to “livetweet” the bulk of his deeply inspiring one hour keynote. (See tweets here).

I’d love to hear your own thoughts on the pursuit of success and how it relates to your own spiritual path. And your thoughts and feelings about the biggest day of romance and love of the year – what does it bring up for you? Do share your thoughts in the comments below:

Big hugs,
Mari

P.S. Another quote from Esperanza – if you happen to be single (or your S.O. is away) right now: “You can never be alone because you will always have YOU.”

My favorite events on my calendar are giving social media talks to all sizes of audiences, across many industries and a variety of formats. Whether it’s an opening keynote on social media success in general, an in-depth Facebook and/or Twitter breakout session or a full day training.

My 2010 calendar is filling up nicely, and this year I’m intent on pacing myself a tad more, and also allow a bit of extra time in each city to a) sightsee and b) connect with Twitter peeps at local Tweetups. Yay!

My public calendar can be found here, which is always current. Meantime, I thought I’d put together this post with a smidge more detail of what I have booked for 2010 so far and I’ll update it as more events are added. and add some video content too!! [If you'd like to hire me to speak at your event, hop over here.]

   

2010 Events – Let’s Tweet Up!

Here are my travels for 2010 so far; as more are confirmed I’ll add to this post and also to my public Google calendar. Most all of these are speaking engagements; a few I’m attending as a participant.

If you live in any of these cities – or will be at these events – please do tweet/DM me!!

January – Hollywood CA

• January 28 – February 1: The GRAMMYS! Hollywood, CA. (I’ll be in a mastermind all day Jan 30 and at the GRAMMYS Jan 31; I’m going up a couple days early and staying an extra day for a mix of pampering plus business meetings!) Special mention of my dear friend, Amy Michelson, designer of my Grammy gown. pics coming!

February – San Diego, Orange County, Los Angeles CA | Nashville TN

• February 4: Keynoting the California Restaurant Association (CRA) San Diego meeting, San Diego, CA
• February 6 & 7: Social Marketing Mastery IMMERSION – retreat at Casa de Mari, San Diego, CA
• February 10: Guest lecture on Facebook marketing for UCSD at Becky Carroll’s class.
• February 11: An Evening With Seth Godin – Dana Point, CA
• February 12 to 14: NSA, National Speakers Association Winter Conference – Nashville, TN [Valentine's tweetup Feb 13!]
• February 19 – 20: Program Director Grad School, Los Angeles, CA
• February 19 – 21: David Finkel’s 2010 Business Owners Success Conference – San Diego, CA

March – Seattle WA | San Diego, Los Angeles CA

• March 5: Girls’ Night Out – Total Networking Event, Seattle, WA (I’m giving the main keynote)
• March 3: LIVE Conference – Social/Mobile Media at its Best by Qittle, San Diego, CA (I’ll be here as an attendee)
• March 8: Free WEBINAR – How Social Media is Changing the Face of Local Business Marketing featuring Mari Smith and Erik Qualman, hosted by @EgbertOostburg
• March 9: Free WEBINAR – Maximizing Facebook: How To Effectively Use The #1 Social Network To Explode Your Business! (for ISMA members – free membership)
• March 11: Private CLASS – Guest lecture on social media marketing for Grossmont College at Steve Eisenberg’s class.
• March 13 & 14: LIVE event – Women, Power & Purpose – The Live Experience, San Diego, CA [Also on this weekend: South by Southwest #SXSWi, Austin, TX; Yanik Silver's Ungerground6 in Washington DC with @garyvee keynoting; Mastering Your Life with Esperanza in San Diego, CA]
• March 19 – 21: LIVE event – Ken McArthur’s IMPACT Event, San Diego, CA
• March 24 – 27: LIVE event – T. Harv Eker’s Guerilla Business School, Garden Grove (LA), CA
• March 26 – 28: LIVE event – Christian Mickelsen’s JV Networking Mixer, San Diego, CA

April – Loveland CO | Albuquerque NM | Ottawa Canada | San Diego CA

• April 8: Spring Northern Colorado Social Media Social, Loveland Chamber of Commerce & Visitor Center (details being firmed up)
• April 13: American Marketing Association New Mexico, Albuquerque, NM (details being firmed up)
• April 13 – 16: Private Conference, Albuquerque, NM
• April 16 – 17: Ultimate Success Event with Peggy McColl, Ottawa, Canada
• April 23 – 24: Social Marketing Mastery IMMERSION – retreat at Casa de Mari, San Diego, CA
• April 30 & May 1: Wisdom 2.0 Summit – Sillicon Valley, CA

May – San Diego, Los Angeles CA

• May 3: Mari’s Book Launch Celebration! Facebook Marketing: An Hour A Day published today!
• May 4 – 26: Social Media Success Summit 2010 (virtual event with TOP speakers!).
• May 20 – 23: Clients, Cash & Contribution with Christian Mickelsen. San Diego, CA
• May 22 – 23: The You Conference with GaryVee and Dave Lakhani. Los Angeles, CA

June – Los Angeles, CA

• June 21-23: SANG IV, Los Angeles, CA (invite-only mastermind).

July – Dallas TX

• July 15 – 18: eWomenNetwork 10th Annual Conference, Dallas, TX

Ali Brown, JJ Virgin, Mari Smith, Baeth Davis, Tamara Gold at Richard Branson & Eve Branson’s Rock the Kasbah fundraiser in Hollywood.

Review of Speaking in 2009

I was most fortunate to have an extremely full speaking schedule throughout last year. Among my 2009 highlights were speaking at all these incredible events and getting to share the stage with other amazing speakers, leaders and luminaries including:

SANG – Speakers & Authors Networking Group

Larry Benet’s SANGII and SANGIII in Las Vegas and Hollywood, with Tony Robbins, Paula Abdul, Brian Tracy, Jay Abraham and Jeffrey Hayzlett (CMO of Kodak);

Engage Today

Engage Today in Calgary, Canada with Sir Richard Branson (pic!) His Holiness The Dalai Lama, President F W deKlerk, Stephen R Covey and Wyland.

Underground Seminar

Yanik Silver’s Underground5 in Washington DC, with GoDaddy CEO & Founder Bob Parsons and former James Bond George Lazenby. (See you at Underground6 in March with Gary Vaynerchuk keynoting!)

eWomenNetwork

eWomenNetwork in Dallas TX, with Judge Glenda Hatchett, Lisa Nichols, Roxanne Emmerich, Loral Langemeier, Debbie Meyer and many more fine speakers and leaders. and 3500 attendees!

Blog World Expo 

Blog World Expo 2009 in Las Vegas, NV with Matt Goss, Scott Monty, Jeremiah Owyang, Brian Solis, Frank Eliason, Laura Fitton, Sarah Evans, Wendy Piersall and many, many more fine professionals! (Check out Blog World Expo’s home page with fab video widgets from my fave Yubby!)

MarketingProfs

Marketing Profs Digital Marketing Mixer in Chicago, IL with Dr. BJ Fogg, Ann Handley, Amber Nusland, Jay Baer, and many more top notch marketing pros!

Twitter Conference

140 | The Twitter Conference in Los Angeles with Twitter Co-Founder Biz Stone, Dr. Drew, Tyrese Gibson, LaVar Burton, Guy Kawasaki, Robert Scoble and many more fine folks!

PLUS.!

Other awesome highlights included: speaking for Fabienne Fredrickson, Arielle Ford and Mike Koenigs, Adam Urbanski, John Assaraf, Jack Canfield, James Malinchak, Dan Kennedy and Bill Glazer, Jim Bunch, Christian Mickelsen, and Craig Duswalt.

.and a few fave pics!

Mari with Sir Richard Branson, Frank Kern, Dan Kennedy, Scott Monty, Wyland and Robert Scoble.

Group pic: L-R: Ellie Drake, founder of BraveHeartWomen; Karina Smirnoff from Dancing With the Stars; me; actress Tava Smiley from TLC’s Cleansweep; talk show host Rolonda Watts.

Feel free to leave your comments/questions below about any of these events, my travels/whereabouts, and your own events. I look forward to connecting soon! And, to book me as a speaker at your next event, please check out this page.

Each year, I choose a one-word theme that acts as a guide in all my major decisions and shapes my entire year.

I start thinking about the theme around the beginning of December and simply set the intention that the essence of the word will come to me strongly and clearly at the right time to serve my highest good and the good of those I serve.

In 2008, my one word theme was FOCUS – which I like to make into an acronym for “Follow One Course Until Successful.” Focus certainly paid off in 2008; it was my most successful year up to that point.

In 2009, my one word theme was INFLUENCE – I would ask myself consciously and subconsciously, “Who and what am I allowing to influence me?“

When I wrote this post on December 29, 2008 about choosing Influence for 2009, little did I know then how much my choice would impact my year both personally and professionally!

2009 far exceeded my business and finance goals with an abundance of national and international speaking engagements, lucrative joint ventures, celebrity clients, meeting Richard Branson and the Dalai Lama, the successful launch of my first social media certification course, Mentor With Mari, the co-creation of the International Social Media Association. all topped off with an invitation to attend the 52nd Grammy Awards and walk the red carpet!

In 2009 in my personal life, I chose to stop traveling the country in a motorhome and transition out of my eight-year marriage, as I shared in this post. I couldn’t have imagined sharing such an intimate experience so publicly before social media. Yet, the process was profound for both me and my community.

Now, as we celebrate the completion of 2009 and dance into 2010, my resounding one-word theme is TEAM! This word came to me as I contemplated where I got stuck most this year – where I didn’t allow myself to grow as much as I wanted.

One of my Achilles heels is delegation. I’m blessed to have several skilled team members and to be surrounded by powerful mentors, mastermind partners, coaches and other skilled experts. Yet I allowed myself to get completely stopped or stymied in several areas (like blog development, membership programs, product creation, book writing!) because my calendar got so backed up and I wanted to do so much myself.

Of course, there’s such a thing as balance, right? Whilst my two blogs may have taken a back seat, my Twitter presence, Facebook fan page, professional network and speaking engagements flourished significantly!

You’ve probably heard of the word “TEAM” used as an acronym for “Together Everyone Achieves More” (or Miracles). I like this. though if you have other creative suggestions, I’m open to ideas!

Now it’s your turn! What’s your theme for 2010?

I just attended and spoke at the Glazer-Kennedy Inner Circle Info-SUMMIT^SM 2009 in Atlanta, GA. It was a packed event with over 800 attendees and an incredible speaker lineup, including George Foreman, Frank Kern, Master Lloyd Irvin, Mike Koenigs, James Malinchak, Sonia Simone, Chris Cardell, Ron Seaver, and Michael Cage.

[Pic: Frank Kern, Mari Smith, Dan Kennedy]

Main highlight – Frank Kern!

For me, one of the highlights of the Info-SUMMIT^SM was meeting legendary marketer, Frank Kern, whom I’d heard so much about for some time.

I love Frank’s highly entertaining style, having read his blog and watched his videos for awhile. I also recently got a copy of Mass Control at the Engage Today event.

But nothing beats live and in person. Frank blends his super smart marketing brain with a complete no-bull, in-your-face hilarious style. (Of course the no-bull part is Frank’s mentor, Dan Kennedy’s, specialty!)

One of the exercises Frank Kern did during his presentation was about getting super clear on what you want to achieve in life and then creating a foolproof system to pay for it all!

Frank brought up on stage the lovely Maritza Parra and proceeded to take her through this process which consisted of three simple columns: (1) Thing you want, (2) How much it costs per month, and (3) Why you want it.

Once you’ve listed a dozen or more things you want (from houses, cars and horses to travel, personal trainer and nanny!), tally up the monthly cost, multiply by 12 then divide by 365 and you have a daily amount you need to earn. Take that daily amount and divide by the dollar amount of the main product/service you sell and that’s how many sales you need to make per day.

Frank makes it all sound so easy! In fact, I created this downloadable form that you can fill out and it will calculate the numbers for you (once you fill in your three columns!): Your Ideal Lifestyle – Clarity Calculator.

Lessons from my social media presentation

Now, on to my own presentation: I spoke about social media success, particularly using Facebook and Twitter to grow your business. I was on a panel first thing on Day 1 as a quick preview of my presentation that evening and all went well.

However, my actual presentation wasn’t my best. In fact – in total transparency – I feel I let much of the audience down by not providing them sufficient content and value, which is the opposite of what I’ve done in all my other talks.

What happened is I chose to work with several speaking/sales coaches at short notice. The impact this had was I deviated from my own natural presentation style so much so that it was uncomfortable for me… and the audience.

My speaking schedule has been super-intense for most of 2009; I had the Info-SUMMIT^SM engagement booked for about six months, so ought to have given myself more time and practice for such coaching.

As my dear friend and personal trainer, Ashley Mahaffey, said to me, I was like a marathon runner who went out to race with a brand new pair of running shoes and ended up with sore feet and blisters! [Ok, I know this pic is high heels - but imagine running a race in these?!!]

Thing is, much of the Info-SUMMIT^SM audience provided positive feedback to me and I had a reasonable uptake of the training program I offered, which I’m delighted about. But I just know I could’ve done a whole lot better in hindsight.

As we say in the seminar business, “Correct and continue.”

I did watch the Twitter stream like a hawk and was able to connect with a couple of attendees who expressed their experience of my talk – I was grateful for their constructive feedback.

This is also a great lesson for other seminar attendees on the importance of monitoring what Jermiah Owyang calls the back channel.

[I have since put up a page of free social media resources for Info-SUMMIT^SM attendees to view/download here.]

Going forward, here are my key takeaways from this experience:

1. Be more selective about such intense travel and events in 2010 onwards – better to speak at fewer events and do a stellar job than pack in three a week and stress myself out!
2. Allow plenty room in my schedule for proper planning, rehearsal, coaching and logistics – particularly prior to major events.
3. Stay with my natural style and my propensity to over-deliver on content and value – even though some schools of thought differ.
4. Strive to attend the full events I speak at, so as to better compliment the other speakers and provide a more cohesive experience for the audience.
5. Integrate coaching input over time… and practice on smaller audiences!

If you attended the Info-SUMMIT^SM, do leave me your feedback below. I’m always open to constructive criticism. Whether you attended the Info-SUMMIT^SM or not, I’d love to hear your own tales from the trenches about public speaking and selling from the stage in the comments below:

At the recent 140 Twitter Conference, I sparked a bit of controversy on the branding panel that I participated on: I brought up a point that reminds me of the line in the movie Glengarry Glen Ross “ABC, always be closing” and I framed it as “ABM = always be marketing” and “always be me.”

I was fascinated to see the polarized responses from the audience, Twitterverse and one of my fellow panelists. (I’m a big fan of expressing opinions, but it’s not my style to polarize! Oh well!)

To me, Always Be Marketing means that I am extremely mindful and strategic about everything I do online and in public. For example, turquoise and bling is my signature branding color/look/feel – so that’s what I present in public. (Eight percent of my wardrobe is a shade of blue!) And, my persona is upbeat, open, caring, genuine and always helpful, always willing to answer questions particularly about Facebook. This is all part of my brand.

In fact, the greatest compliment I receive is when people meet me in person and say I’m exactly like they thought I would be from how I am online.

With social media so prevalent we are all EXTREMELY visible. Your prospective clients, your peers and your competition can drill as deep as they wish searching, reading and gathering information online about you and posted by you without you ever knowing who’s searching. Depending on what they find, your prospects may choose to do business with you or not.

Being mindful and in “ABM” mode helps with reputation management. To me, ABM means you’re never careless about what you put out there. You see the longevity of everything that’s published. (For the best book on reputation management see, Radically Transparent by Andy Beal and Judy Strauss).

To some folks, the word “marketing” has negative connotations. It’s a word often misinterpreted as meaning “hocking your wares,” “pushing” and being like a used car salesman. That’s unfortunate. There’s a big difference between ABP: always be pushing and ABM: always be marketing!

I unfollow the “ABP” types on Twitter and unfriend or even block them on Facebook. I’m all about connecting and building relationships… and yes, there’s strategy to all that too. What may seem as idle chit-chat on Twitter is 100% visible to the whole world on Twitter. It’s important to always do your best, because you just never know who is watching you.

Perhaps some folks have negative feelings associated with the movie, Glengarry Glen Ross – it’s an intense movie and the question of ethics and integrity in sales is a theme running throughout the film. I certainly would never recommend doing “whatever it takes” to market. It has to be genuine, positive and contribute to your community. Like I say, the ABM also means “always be me” (or, for me, “always be Mari!”

In fact, here’s a couple of my fave nuggets from the #140tc:

What are your thoughts? What does ABM mean to you? Do you consider yourself to be in “marketing mode” at all times – or is it something you turn on and off? Do you apply a special formula to your tweeting style with x% personal and x% business? Is there a clear line between the two, or are you like me and completely blend your social media personal/professional style because you know ultimately people are buying YOU first?! I’d love to hear from you – add your thoughts in the comments below:

A Facebook friend recently mentioned she was intentionally responding to new Facebook friend requests late at night as she didn’t want to clog up her friends’ feeds. Thing is, there’s a setting in your Facebook Privacy to control exactly what gets published on your Facebook Wall and your friends’ News Feeds.

I have my settings tweaked so that when I add a new friend this is not published on my Wall or friends’ News Feeds. One of the main reasons was, like my girlfriend, I didn’t want to clog up my friends’ feeds.

But, also, what I found was that some folks would watch my feed and see who I was becoming friends with, then reach out to them and infer we had a much deeper connection than was so. Such is the nature of Facebook friends — it could be someone brand new you’ve just added or someone you’ve known all your life.

In any case, there are a few settings you may not be aware of either when it comes to what content you choose to publish on your Wall and, by default, out into your friends’ News Feeds.

How to edit your News Feed and Wall settings:

On the top blue navigation bar, mouseover Settings > then click on Privacy Settings > then click on News Feed and Wall as shown in the screenshot below:

On the next screen, check or uncheck the settings as you wish. The screenshot below is exactly how I have my settings:

Add a friend

If you have the “Add a friend” setting checked on your News Feed and Wall privacy section, your Wall could look like this when you confirm friend requests en masse:

Plus, this activity may show up in all your friends’ News Feeds. There could be very strategic reasons to leave this setting checked as maybe you want people to see how many friends you’re adding, or who they are. But my preference is to have it private for reasons mentioned above.

I’ve been at the 5,000 Facebook friend limit since fall 2008 but I do monitor my News Feed very closely to ensure the people in my inner circle are a match for my style and vice versa. (By the way, if ever you remove a friend, no notifications go out at all. I know this is a concern for many folks!)

Show Wall posts or not?

If you also use Facebook for personal purposes and want to keep personal separate from business, you might want to give thought to this Wall setting. In other words, if you prefer to have the Wall posts you write only show up on that friend’s Wall and not be published out into the News Feed of all your friends, uncheck the top setting. (There is a much more granular way to control your Publisher settings which I’ll write about in a separate post).

I tend to be totally open and use Facebook for strategic professional networking 99% of the time. Every action creates visibility so I’m happy for all Wall posts to go into all friends’ feeds.

One thing to consider though is when you’re wishing your friends a happy birthday. Whether it’s you or an assistant that writes birthday greetings, you might want to be aware that every Wall post may go out into your friends’ News Feed assuming the “Show Wall posts” setting is checked. If you have a lot of friends and all you write is “Happy Birthday” on your friends’ Walls one after the other, frankly, I think it looks automated and impersonal. Instead, I suggest mixing up the birthday greetings and perhaps even spacing them out a bit.

Change relationship status

Again, it’s a personal choice. But, for me, I recently went through a personal transition as I wrote about here and I didn’t want to broadcast that news via Facebook. This setting may be irrelevant to most people – but it’s certainly one you should be aware of.

Here’s what your friends might see in their Highlights section on their Home Page, unless the setting is unchecked:

Let me know if you found this post useful and how you like to have your News Feed and Wall settings in the Comments section below. Have you taken advantage of the really granular publishing and privacy settings? What’s your biggest question(s) about these settings?

Related posts:

• Facebook: Personal, Professional… and Private!

Recommended posts:

• 10 Privacy Settings Every Facebook User Should Know

I’m often asked how I got started in social media and became so successful and well known. Well, first I like to think I’m humble and am just “one of the peeps” like everyone else, which is true. But I do recognize my business has really exploded in the past eighteen months, and so I thought I’d come up with a list of contributing factors that you might find of benefit too:

1. Get lucky!

My definition of luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Since ‘99, I had pursued a path of relationship marketing, internet marketing, and success coaching… all of which culminated in social media when I got invited to join an alpha team of a Facebook app in 2007. I joke about being an “overnight success ten years in the making” – perhaps you can relate?! But all these years were preparation for my passion and purpose to intersect. I’d been preparing for many years, then an opportunity presented itself and I took ACTION!

2. Self-knowledge.

I’m a raving fan of personality assessments. I’ve taken over fifteen assessments, including Myers Briggs, DISC, Reiss, Kolbe’s, iWAM, PIAV, the Enneagram… you may be familiar with some of these. I believe it’s not enough to just do one assessment. By understanding yourself – and ultimately others – at a deep level, you’re better able to design a lifestyle and career that motivates you and meets your needs.

3. FOCUS.

I love the acronym for the word “focus”: Follow One Course Until Successful. Every year I choose a one-word theme for my entire year. In 2008, my word was focus – I did not deviate from my path of predominantly Facebook education which lead to many, many doors opening.

4. Influence.

My one-word focus for 2009 is influence. I ask myself, “Who and what am I allowing to influence me?” In terms of social media, we all have equal opportunity to build up significant influence. Your “tribe” is made up of people who know, like and trust you. They may hang on your every word. That’s a responsible position to be in!

5. Be yourself

“Be yourself because everybody else is already taken.” I love this quote almost as much as I love this Dr. Seuss quote: “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” This goes along with my notion that there is no competition. Nobody can offer the exact same product or service in the way that you offer it with your personal touch. This goes for big brands too. Be yourself is also all about authenticity and transparency in social media.

6. Know what you want.

One of my mentors, T. Harv Eker, used to say the #1 reason people don’t get what they want in life is they don’t know what they want. Hmm. So, of course, the secret is to get super clear on exactly what it is you want. This goes for personal, life and business goals whether you’re a solopreneur or CEO of a big company. In social media, what are your objectives – more visibility? Increase in traffic, subscribers, fans, followers, friends? Then what? How will you convert them to paying clients?

7. Have a plan

The main reason people fail in social media is lack of a strategy. There’s so much confusing and conflicting advice out there, it’s easy to get lost in the social media jungle. By having a clear objective, developing a strategy to accomplish that objective, and measuring milestones along the way, you’re bound to have better results.

8. Stay on track.

This goes along with #3 above, FOCUS. It’s all too easy to get distracted and go down a million rabbit holes as I call them. Or to have “multiple-hat syndrome” where you have about six different businesses. Much as it’s fine to have multiple streams of income, I strongly recommend you stay on course with one primary business until that venture is at the level of success you want.

9. Add value.

R. Buckminster Fuller talked about the importance of adding value and that your financial wealth is a direct reflection of how much value you add to the world. Sometimes it’s easy to think you don’t want to give away the store. But I really think we cannot give it all away because every day new ideas, techniques and strategies come along… so give generously. And help promote and build others up.

10. Broadcast the postive.

I love to focus only on updates that are upbeat and positive. I’m a glass-half-full type of person anyway. What often gives Twitter a bad name is people think we just sit around and share about trivia… well, some people do! But I like to say nothing at all if I can’t think of something of value to say.  We have a position of responsibility to influence others in a positive way, to create positive ripples. At the end of the day, you want to be the voice that is remembered, not just heard. (Kudos to my friend, Nancy Marmolejo, where I first heard this awesome saying!)

11. Surround yourself with successful mentors.

In order to get to the next level in life and business, it’s important to seek the counsel of experienced mentors who are several levels above where you are now. The best investment you can make is in yourSELF. Not just business, professional and financial training. But in deep personal, spiritual and emotional growth too. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world, so the more you grow yourself the more successful you’ll become.

12. Take imperfect action.

One of my mentors last year, Kevin Nations, has this great saying, “Winners take imperfect action while others are sitting around perfecting their plans.” Well, I’m a recovering perfectionist! I used to have to wait until every duck was in a row. Now, I make myself just GO for it. When I first announced my social media certification program earlier this year, I really wanted to wait awhile longer, but I went for it anyway because I’d already waited 18 months… and was simply astounded by the overwhelming response! (I’ll be announcing dates for the next program just as soon as possible!)

13. Correct and continue.

Did you know a rocketship is only on course 3% of the time? The remaining 97% it’s course-correcting. This is true for us. At every turn, we have an opportunity to put something out there, test it, make a correction, test again. But if you keep waiting for things to be perfect, you’ll never launch. So, for sure, due your due diligence, then take imperfect action, then correct and continue!! And, the faster your correct, the better… especially with social media being so prevalent because people notice your mistakes quicker!

14. Be willing to be a bit “out there.”

By this I mean, be a bit off the wall, a bit crazy. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Have fun. I love to goof around with my avatars on Twitter – I call it my avataritis and my favorite is my avatiara! Check out my avatar slideshow here and this great post What does your avatar say about you by Maureen Birdsall.

15. LIVE WITH PASSION!!

“Live with passion” is one of my favorite Tony Robbins sayings! Tony certainly embodies passion, as does my friend, Gary Vaynerchuk. If you ever get the chance to see Tony or Gary live on stage – GO! Both are hugely vibrant, larger-than-life, passionate peeps!!

I hope you found a few good nuggets in here for yourself. What are some of your secrets to success? Feel free to share below:

Privacy is a major concern for many people using social networks. Choosing how much of your personal life to spill into your work life through social networks is up to each individual.

In the context of how transparent to be on Facebook and Twitter, back in February 2008, I wrote about these three areas of life: personal, professional, and private. Today, for a specific reason, I am choosing to move the personal | private line:

When is it appropriate to share more?

For so many of us, our personal lives become inextricably linked with our professional lives. Who we are is our business, our business is us.

However, I always maintain we must still have a private life and choose only to share those things we are truly comfortable with: (1) being on the front page of the New York Times, (2) found in a Google search, and/or (3) proud for our children/grandchildren to see in years to come.

So, when is it appropriate to reveal more? …When your private life doesn’t feel completely congruent with your life in the public eye.

That’s where I’m at right now, and so this may be the most personally transparent blog post I’ve written to date.

I believe in authentic communication and I’ve recently undergone such massive transition in my personal life that it just doesn’t feel right not to share myself more openly with my community at large. One of the main reasons I’m inspired to write this post is to share with you my commitment to authentic, heart-centered relationships – on both a personal and professional level.

Over the past several months, I realize many of my network perceive I’m still living in a motor home traveling the country with my husband, Ty. I was. Up until about September of last year when we returned to Southern California after an 18-month tour of the entire western US and Canada.

My personal journey…

Ty and I met in 1999 not long after I came to San Diego from Scotland, and we married in 2001. We enjoyed many wonderful experiences together, most certainly our mobile lifestyle. But we discovered differences over the years in our outlooks, goals and aspirations. After we returned from our travels, we gave much thought to the future of our relationship.

As I continued to work on myself and grow personally, stepping more fully into my inner power, strength and light, my business success became greater and greater… and I began to see that Ty and I were simply traveling different paths.

Once it became clear our marriage no longer served either of us, Ty and I separated earlier this year and last month we divorced. We put effort into a responsible and caring separation, and we are amicable about the transition.

This has not been an easy choice for me, but it feels like a true choice for Freedom. Since I had experienced divorce with my parents as a young child, I was reluctant to travel that road again. Even though I’ve done a lot of personal and professional development on myself, I still had non-supportive beliefs and patterns impacting my choices.  I kept telling myself I was committed to a new standard of marriage. Now, I’ve realized I’m committed to a new standard of relating regardless of the form of the relationship.

Publishing personal changes on social network profiles

While I’ve been going through this transition over the past few months I kept wondering how I’d manage to change my relationship status on Facebook – and other social networking profiles – from married to single. (I did edit my privacy settings so the relationship change wouldn’t just suddenly go out in the News Feed of all my friends.)

Not only that, but I wondered how my network would respond to this news and, though I’ve shared with many close friends, I just wasn’t sure how to share en masse… or even if I needed to. But any time someone would tweet or write me through Facebook about my mobile lifestyle or husband, I didn’t know how to respond. So, that’s why I’ve chosen to write this post.

Given the very nature of social media and the times we are in right now, I just know it’s more in alignment with my truth and integrity to share this part of my journey with you now.

Resources that made a huge difference

I’m deeply grateful to Esperanza Universal, Master Spiritual Teacher at the S.O.U.L. Institute who leads profound spiritual transformational programs – her work has helped immensely to deepen my relationship with myself and bring out the higher meaning in my transition. Do check out Esperanza’s website to learn more about her signature program Mastering Your Life. (I’ll see you there in September as I’ll be attending again!)

Along with Esperanza’s work, Ty and I were fortunate to have the support of Peaceful Divorce Expert, Belinda Rachman. She’s an exceptional mediator who specializes in “divorce-in-a-day,” based in Carlsbad, California.

There are also a few books that I’ve found most helpful not only in my marital transition but in embracing my success at a whole new level:

• The Big Leap – by Gay Hendricks. Incredible book about how we all have an “upper limit” of success, happiness, joy, love, finances and unconsciously sabotage ourselves when we reach that limit until we know how to breakthrough.
• The Secret Code of Success – by Noah St. John. Excellent book that shows how our fear of success is greater than our fear of failure and teaches specific steps on how to overcome this challenge. Great companion to The Big Leap!
• Spiritual Divorce - Debbie Ford. A book I bought years ago but was afraid to read. If you know anyone contemplating divorce, this is a superb book.  
• How Do I Tell The Kids – Rosalind Sedacca. A beautiful storybook for couples with children; Roz’s book touched me deeply as an adult child of divorce, even though I don’t have children myself.

Letting our light shine!

I’ve always resonated with these beautiful, inspiring words by Marianne Williamson from her book A Return To Love, and they have helped me greatly most recently to really let my light shine:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us;
it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.”

Another gem from Marianne (I saw go by on Twitter recently): “Every change is a challenge to become who we really are.”

How has this impacted you?

My hope for you in reading this post is to feel inspired to live into YOUR deepest truth more fully. To know how powerful beyond measure you are and to step up and play a bigger game in life and business. The world needs you!

I’d love to hear your thoughts – please share how this post impacted you in the comments below.

I created this five-part model – the ABC’s of Social Media – to simplify your social media efforts. Many folks come to social media and attempt to short-circuit the process by over-automating, over-broadcasting, over-delegating and miss out the vital component of connecting, engaging and building relationships.

Once you’ve confirmed your target market uses Facebook and Twitter, and you’re happy with your brand, messaging and systems for capturing leads, etc., here’s how the ABC system works:

Automate

First, set up systems to automate your broadcasts, feeds, updates, content. On Twitter, this could be using Twitterfeed to automatically post your blog feed as tweets. To pre-schedule tweets, use TweetLater and/or Hootsuite.

To update multiple social media sites, including Twitter, your Facebook personal profile, multiple Facebook Fan Pages, LinkedIn, FriendFeed and many more, Ping.fm works extremely well. To pre-schedule updates to multiple social sites, the best choice is HootSuite > Ping.fm.

Import your blog post on Facebook using the Notes app and/or the Networked Blogs app.

Aggregate all your social feeds into FriendFeed and add the FriendFeed app to your Facebook Profile.

There are many more ways to automate; these are a great start. However, I do recommend not over-automating. Pre-scheduling and auto-broadcasting are great to ensure you at least have some content going out daily. But you’ll also want to generate real-time content/broadcasts too.

Broadcast

Broadcasts are what I call regular tweets (as opposed to @ replies), Facebook status updates, posts on Facebook, blog posts and more. In fact, any way of pushing your message “out there.” This could be seen as more traditional “push marketing” though you’re not being pushy, per se. It’s important to broadcast your content and, in fact, broadcast others’ content in the form of retweets, favorites, social bookmarks and the Links app on Facebook.

Now the challenge with many businesses using social media is they stop at “B” – in other words, they just repeat the cycle of automate and broadcast, automate and broadcast. It’s hard to know who’s behind the Twitter account or Facebook page. It’s all about pushing content and there’s hardly any engagement. So the third step is vital to your success in social media:

Connect

On Twitter, this is the art of joining, initiating and responding to conversations via @ replies. Using popular third party clients like Tweetdeck, Twhirl or Seesmic Desktop, you can easily track and respond to @yourname mentions.

On Facebook, create Friend Lists with your key contacts, drag that friend list to the top of your News Feed and now that’s your default view [see screenshot to the right]. Then, even in just a few minutes a day on Facebook, you can easily connect by commenting appropriately.

Acknowledge your friends’ birthdays on both Facebook and Twitter. [On Facebook, all your friends' upcoming birthdays are listed on your Home Page on the right; you can also receive a weekly list of upcoming birthdays via regular email: click Settings > Account Settings > Notifications > under the first segment (Facebook) click Show More > make sure "Has a birthday coming up" is turned ON.]

Look for other occasions to celebrate and acknowledge. And, look for ways to introduce and promote others, compliment, add value.

Subscribe to a number of popular blogs and regularly post your comments. When writing your own blog posts, encourage your readers to comment by asking stimulating questions.

Delegate

If you’re serious about integrating social media into your marketing efforts, before long you simply cannot manage everything yourself. Depending on the size of your company, you may well have a member of staff who’s sole responsibility is to be the voice and face of the company, often called a “brandividual.”

Or, you may choose to hire a competent, trained VA (Virtual Assistant) or social networking assistant – at least to help set up and manage the basics. I usually recommend you do not delegate your voice, though most of us know some celebrities have “ghost tweeters!” [There are many sources to find good VAs, including on Twitter via the directory Twellow.com - that way you can find, follow and monitor their style before even contacting them.]

One major task you can delegate is to track and monitor your reputation by setting up Google alerts and tweet alerts (via TweetBeep and/or TweetLater which is a suite of helpful Twitter tools). Look for your evangelists who are always singing your praises so you can connect, empower and incentivize them more. And, also look for negative activity that needs to be responded to and ideally nipped in the bud. [The best book on reputation management is Radically Transparent by Andy Beal and Judy Strauss.]

Evaluate

As quickly as you set up your social media systems, something new comes along or the big sites introduce new features. Facebook are constantly adding a tweak here and there, sometimes minor but often major. It’s important you stay informed and regularly evaluate how your systems are working for you. Are you meeting your objectives? Are you getting a good ROI (return on investment) and ROT (return on time). Have you thoroughly researched where your target market hang out most and are you reaching them effectively? How can you think outside the box, get more creative and innovative to stay ahead of the curve?

Let me know your thoughts on my ABC’s of Social Media model – did I miss anything critical? Does it help you better understand how you can effectively use the giants like Facebook and Twitter? Please do retweet this post too, assuming you found it valuable!

Today is a BIG day: a seven feet tall day! My giant friend, Dave Lakhani, releases his book How To Sell When Nobody’s Buying (And How To Sell Even More When They Are).

This book is a powerful step-by-step guide to generating significantly more sales using many proven techniques, along with tapping into the power of social media, how to be seen to sell, and how to build lasting, prosperous relationships!

I am thrilled and honored to be one of only four contributing authors. My chapter is called, How To Effectively Use Facebook To Find Your Ideal Work, Build Your Brand, and Increase Your Sales.

Hop over to Dave’s book site now and be sure to first order your copy of this awesome new book today. And then enter your name, email address and receipt number on Dave’s amazing bonuses page for lots of free goodies and plenty chances to win BIG!

Today, Dave will be randomly choosing winners each hour to receive free cameras, iPods, products, and private consultations. Plus, three peeps will win Dave’s $10k Grand Prize of a one day in person consultation to transform your business. Whew, that rocks! As the saying goes, you have to be IN to WIN!

As my own special bonus gift, here’s another super-duper special opportunity for you: a chance to WIN a scholarship to attend my Fast Track to Social Marketing Mastery program! (Worth $5k).

It’s an intense six-week program, very limited in size, typically only available via invitation. (See a quick overview of Social Marketing Mastery here). The next program is coming up fast on June 11th. We meet for six consecutive weeks via my private webinar room, plus one-on-one time with me to help you get big and go viral using social media!

Here’s how to enter:

It’s real simple; just write a comment here on this blog post (or in the comments section below if you’re reading this inside Facebook) telling me these THREE things:

1. Where you’re feeling stuck with Facebook/Twitter/social media.
2. How you think your business would benefit most from a rapid immersion in high-level social marketing training.
3. Why I should pick you as the winner of this scholarship.

That’s it! I’ll choose a winner by midnight tonight (June 9th) and will contact you via email. (I will be verifying with Dave that you got a copy of his book!)

NOTE: if you wish your comment/entry to remain private, please include the words “don’t publish” and I will read your comment offline and it won’t be published. (Of course, this only applies on my blog, not on Facebook).

Good luck!! Now, STEP #1: go get your copy of How To Sell When Nobody’s Buying FIRST!